Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Found My Voice - Again

No pictures, here, this time .... This is about "The Bark."  I know I was bred as a sentinel dog, but my owners didn't recognize that as I aged, I would find my voice.  Now that I am an almost adult TT, my bark reigns supreme.  My owners are still trying to figure out how to minimize it.  As if .... Let me tell you what I bark at: 

1)  The TV:  My owners are idiots.  Don't they know that the TV is a window to a world of danger out there?  It is my job to warn them, so I bark at other animals on the TV; I bark at dangerous looking people on TV; and I bark at dangerous looking objects.  Then I run into the room behind the TV to see if there is danger there to let them know about.  The room is always empty.  I get confused, but does that stop me from barking?  NO, absolutely NOT, not on MY watch!  This is called the "Crazy TT TV Bark." 

2)  Dusk:  It's a dangerous world out there.  It's my job to prevent bad things from happening to ME and to my owners.  So when I get taken out at dusk or at night, I either trot purposefully on my walk or I watch carefully for signs of danger.  That being said, I still announce going outside with a volley of barks to scare away anything or anyone who might hurt my family.  This is called the "It's my job to protect you Bark." 

3)  Un-neutered male dogs:  How dare they keep their 'parts' when mine have been eliminated?  I bark to let them know that even though they have testosterone, I am still one tough TT to contend with, especially the larger dogs.  They better not mess with me.  This is called "The Pre-emptive Bark." 

4)  Thunder:  I am NOT afraid of thunder, but it's important that I alert my owners that thunder is happening.  I bark loudly and fiercely.  My owners are now treating me during thunderstorms, waiting for a clap of thunder and timing it with a treat.  I'm not scared, but it's a win-win for me.  I must keep them engaged in this game.  This is called the "Let me scam you Bark." 

5)  Recycling bins and large garbage cans:  There may be something in there that could be dangerous so I used to avoid it like the devil.  But now, I'm finding that there may be good droppings around them, so I'm not so avoidant.  This is called the "Should I bark or not, so I may as well do so." 

6)  Finally, the bark at the door.  My owners are actually happy about that one because it means I really need to go out and do my business.  This is the only bark they REALLY like.  This one is called "The Do My Business Bark." 

In sum, my owners get annoyed, frustrated by my bark; however, they should TOTALLY appreciate the fact that rarely whine.  (Unless I want to be fed.) 

Wigglebutt Duncan (the master of the BARK)