I Found My Voice - Again

No pictures, here, this time .... This is about "The Bark."  I know I was bred as a sentinel dog, but my owners didn't recognize that as I aged, I would find my voice.  Now that I am an almost adult TT, my bark reigns supreme.  My owners are still trying to figure out how to minimize it.  As if .... Let me tell you what I bark at: 


1)  The TV:  My owners are idiots.  Don't they know that the TV is a window to a world of danger out there?  It is my job to warn them, so I bark at other animals on the TV; I bark at dangerous looking people on TV; and I bark at dangerous looking objects.  Then I run into the room behind the TV to see if there is danger there to let them know about.  The room is always empty.  I get confused, but does that stop me from barking?  NO, absolutely NOT, not on MY watch!  This is called the "Crazy TT TV Bark." 


2)  Dusk:  It's a dangerous world out there.  It's my job to prevent bad things from happening to ME and to my owners.  So when I get taken out at dusk or at night, I either trot purposefully on my walk or I watch carefully for signs of danger.  That being said, I still announce going outside with a volley of barks to scare away anything or anyone who might hurt my family.  This is called the "It's my job to protect you Bark." 


3)  Un-neutered male dogs:  How dare they keep their 'parts' when mine have been eliminated?  I bark to let them know that even though they have testosterone, I am still one tough TT to contend with, especially the larger dogs.  They better not mess with me.  This is called "The Pre-emptive Bark." 


4)  Thunder:  I am NOT afraid of thunder, but it's important that I alert my owners that thunder is happening.  I bark loudly and fiercely.  My owners are now treating me during thunderstorms, waiting for a clap of thunder and timing it with a treat.  I'm not scared, but it's a win-win for me.  I must keep them engaged in this game.  This is called the "Let me scam you Bark." 


5)  Recycling bins and large garbage cans:  There may be something in there that could be dangerous so I used to avoid it like the devil.  But now, I'm finding that there may be good droppings around them, so I'm not so avoidant.  This is called the "Should I bark or not, so I may as well do so." 


6)  Finally, the bark at the door.  My owners are actually happy about that one because it means I really need to go out and do my business.  This is the only bark they REALLY like.  This one is called "The Do My Business Bark." 


In sum, my owners get annoyed, frustrated by my bark; however, they should TOTALLY appreciate the fact that rarely whine.  (Unless I want to be fed.) 


Wigglebutt Duncan (the master of the BARK)

The Stare ... (or am I a subtle TT?)

The stare .... especially the longing, but not disrespectful stare, is one of my best talents.  It sure beats getting scolded for jumping on the chairs or tables and I believe it garners me the respect due one of my breed.  After all, aren't we known for our independence.  Let the labs be the sloppy jumpers.  For me, it's just THE STARE with the correct amount of pathos delivered.  To be sure, I know what I am doing; I also know that my family (nuclear and extended) know what I am doing.  And even though I never will get fed from the table, if I am convincing enough, there is more than a slim possibility that I will be treated with some left-over scraps after the meal is done.  I have also learned that little morsels may be dropped onto the floor so I am now refining my scavenger skills so that my owners don't understand what I am doing and extinguish their behavior.  How many of you have mastered "The Stare?"

If you haven't, you must take a lesson from my playbook.  And as you can see, the type of the cuisine is irrelevant.  I especially love the edamame beans. 

I can look cute if I want!

Yes, can you believe it?  It's ME!  After the dreadful spa day.  Oh, I like the big tub with the non-slippery mat, and I truly enjoy the massage and rinse with warm water.  However, the blow dry?  Forget it!  I tolerate it and I absolutely hate the noise around my ears.  So what if I'm on a special grooming table?  I deserve it .... I'm a special boy even if I am neutered.  So what if I'm wet.  Why do I have to be subjected to the one thing that ruins my event.  Why can't they just STOP with the bath?  I don't think that they do that to humans at the Red Door Spa, do you?  The only think that makes the blow dry tolerable is the wonderful comb-out after.  I have a special comb ... one with rotating tines so that it glides through my double-coated fur and removes all the mats.  It feels like getting my whole body tickled.  Bring it on! 

But you have to admit it .... aren't I totally cute?

To Chew, Sleep and be in Prairie Heaven

It's been a long time since I've thought about my plight in life.  In fact, there's no need to do so, because I couldn't ask for more.  I have 3 favorite things:  1) an inexhaustible supply of bully sticks.  Do you all know what they are?  If you don't, I suggest you look them up on Wikipedia and gag, but they are heaven to me.  My mom gets me them at a specialty store where the bulls are fed corn or they are smoked.  I chew and I chew and I chew.  In fact, here's a picture of me.  Looks like my cigar, eh?  Not a great photo, but I'm sure you get the point. My second favorite activity is to be at the Prairie Dog Park.  It's totally fab, actually heaven.  And the mud baths are awesome.  Lest you think that I would be intimidated by mud, water, and dirt, just look at the pictures of me in my total element. 


Below are hopefully a series of pictures of my entry into the Elizabeth Arden special treatment spa mud baths.  Don't you think it's good for the skin?  I do ... In fact, I've been known as Crockodile Dunkie.



Ah, Sweet Mud!

 It IS a dog's world, isn't it?????  Don't you wish that YOU could do this with me????  (Almost worth the clean-up, but not too sure about that)  The best is after the park.  We have Doggy Spa Day in a big jacuzzi tub, with a shampoo massage followed by conditioning and a blow dry and comb out.  I should think about scheduling weekly appointments.  What do you think? 


Aren't I totally cute after a day in the park?

Finally, the skill that I am best at is SLEEP, sleep in many positions.  Lest you fail to believe me, just look below:

What do you all think?  Am I am the BEST sleeper?  Am I the BEST passed-out TT?  As my mom writes, I am passed out on her couch (being very dirty much to her dismay) on my back .... unmoving.

We shall soon adjourn to the bedroom for our night-time rest, with me on the bed, off the bed, on the bed off the bed, sometimes preferring to go into my special den (AKA my wonderful crate) where I scratch the bedding and settle down for the night.  Ta, ta, world. 













Maybe next time, I shall ponder on the usefulness of "The STARE."  It works miracles.  You should try it.